okay, so I know there is no excuse for me to be this late writing, i just don't get on as often as i used to...anyway, I am writing because I want to whine for just a minute.  I know i'm gonna annoy some of you probably and I am not saying all guys are this way, so don't get indignant, but I have noticed more and more how shallow guys are! I thought that by coming to a Christian college and getting away from the shallow guys i knew in high school, that guys would suddenly see girls for what's on the inside...HA! yeah, that's not the way it is...unfortunately.  I hate that guys like to pretend that they like "real" women, or "natural" beauties, it's such a joke!  I just want guys to take a look at friends they have:  How many couples do you know where it's a beautiful girl and an average guy? I know quite a lot!  now, how many couples do you know where it's a hansome guy and an average girl? i honestly can't think of any...it disgusts me and disappoints me.  There are so many girls out there that have so much to offer even though they aren't the cookie cut perfection.  If only guys would give girls like that a chance!  ugh...it's just been frustrating me a lot lately, but the best thing I can do is take it to God and pray that I can push through this cruddy guy junk and see the perfect man...Christ!  he really does love us and all our physical imperfections...its so cool!   If only I could always focus on that! sheesh, well...it's J-term now and I'm taking two classes, it's kinda annoying, but i need to so i can graduate on schedule!  (for those of you who don't know, J-term is taking one class[or two] every day of the week for like 2 1/2 hours for a month so you can get those credits out of the way.)  Anyway...I guess that's it, hope everyone is doing well!

i'm awful at Xanga!

 yeah...i am no good at blogging, sorry  

~a lot has been going on, but i've been too busy to write about it, i've been too busy to do anything really!  And for that i am sorry, all of my friends i haven't been in touch with...i'm sorry! truly, i've been a crappy friend.  I'm going home in a week and a half though, so that'll be good, i feel like it's been forever.

So, i'm elementary ed now, as many of you know and i have to be honest...it's stressing me out!! I know that this is the time when i truly need to rely on God, but i'm scheduled to have 18 credit semesters from here on out, as well as summer classes!  i know i can't handle that on my own, i'm contemplating staying an extra semester, but that's not an easy decision...i just could really use some prayer on that topic, i'm supposed to register in a couple days and i have no idea what i'm gonna do.

I also have been having some guy troubles...lol, nothing that's a big deal of course, but i could use some prayer in that area too, i know that sounds silly, but i've just realized recently how off my focus has been and how God has been out of the picture far too often.

The best thing that's happened so far is Broomball! it's the coolest pic-a-date our wing does and it was so much fun! i had the best date and afterwards a group of us went to his house in Indianapolis and played games all night! it was just so much fun...i needed that.

oh, and one last exciting/interesting thing...i'm getting a tattoo!  my parents aren't too keen on it but it's gonna be a small one, on my foot hopefully   i'm a little nervous, to say the least! but we'll see, i think that's it for now, hope everyone's life is good! can't wait to come home! see ya

Currently Watching Lost - The Complete Second Season By Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Naveen Andrews, Emilie de Ravin, Matthew Fox, Jorge Garcia, Maggie Grace, Josh Holloway, Malcolm David Kelley, Daniel Dae Kim, Yoon-jin Kim, Evangeline Lilly, Dominic Monaghan, Terry O'Quinn, Harold Perrineau, Michelle Rodriguez, Cynthia Watros, Ian Somerhalder see related

yikes...it's been a while since i updated, my bad!  

   Well, better late than never right?  right!  so, i'm back at school and lately things are great, except that i had a really scary experience and thought i was literally having a heart attack, when i drank way too much caffiene and was allergic to weird chemicals...if you're curious, it's a long story, but ask and i'll tell you   Classes are good, i'm loving the education department and already can't wait to be a teacher!  it's very exciting! 

  on the downside, i'm still not putting my focus on God like i really want to be!  I hate that i can't seem to get a handle on it and be willing to give every aspect of my life to Him.  I know he can fulfill better than any human can and i want that complete fulfillment, i just have to be willing to put my whole being in his hands...needless to say, i'm having trouble doing that, however i have been striving for it, so prayer would be greatly appreciated.  I just know that i need to spend more time with Him each day! 

I guess thats my life right now...i don't know what else to say but i hope everyone is doing well, i miss all you guys from home more than you realize, HONESTLY!  please keep in touch, and i'll see ya later! 

PS-My Chicago Bears are 4-0, just FYI!

i'm updating a little sooner this time! i hope you're all proud   thanks to all of you who hung out with me all summer, for the most part, this has been my best summer ever!  i'm sad to leave, but the past couple of weeks has prepared me more for it.  I think God is kind of telling me that the summer can't last forever, everyone moves on!  so, anyway,  i leave tomorrow and can't wait to see my friends i haven't seen in months!  it's gonna be very exciting.  i should be home in a couple of weeks (3 or 4 at the most i would think), thanks again for a great summer, you all know who you are!  Please know that i'm terribly sad that the summer does have to end, and that i have appreciated the friendships...  in case i don't see you for a while, have a wonderful year and season and however else long it is till we see eachother again.  Goodnight and God Bless!  Love you guys

so, i had decided to make this my best week of the summer...well i was going to try.  and i realized that i can't do that because my summer has already been amazing! thanks to so many different people and events.  There's no way to for me to make one week better than the rest of the summer.  But, i had some friends that wanted to kinda have a going away party for me tonight...it was really cool of them! i felt happy and loved   unfortunately...things didn't go well, i was crushed   I was so excited about tonight and hanging out with my friends who i became so close to this summer, and it got screwed up...now, i only have 2 days left here and one of them is going to be spent at a concert thing all day where we'll be with a million other people and it won't be the same.  I'm still glad to be spending time with them, but i'm just sad about leaving i guess.  it's just kinda putting me in a bad mood, especially when i do hang out with friends and they end up leaving...some going away party...  and just a side note...I HATE SCARY MOVIES!  i've known that forever, and it's still true today, i don't like getting scared and i don't like having nightmares! so i don't watch them...EVER. i try, but i can't. and another thing, i am really emotional right now i am just having a very hard time with leaving! a lot harder than last year, it's a pain to try and make people see that i'm going to college, i'm not abandoning them, i don't want to do that!  I love my friends!  I've been really torn lately... 

I am going to the Pulse concert tomorrow, Packing Sunday and leaving Monday afternoon.  This summer went too fast! i've loved it...more than ever.  I just want to enjoy my last days here!